Renske
30 november 2002, 16:03
Hallo,
Jammer dat ik de laatste ontmoetingsdag gemist heb, had er graag bij willen zijn. Zoals ik al in mijn eerste mailtje schreef was mijn eerste contact met een TTM praatgroep in Amerika, daar was er maandelijks een meeting. Via Sue die ook de webpage bijhield kreeg ik veel informatie over TTM, bij deze even een artikel.
Verder had ik nog een vraag: Heeft iemand van jullie weleens hypnose uitgeprobeerd en zoja hielp dat?
Why We Pull, Why We Don’t Stop, by Suzanne Mouton-Odum, Ph.D. (a talk at 2001 TLC Retreat)
WHY WE PULL
- pulling balances nervous system. If you’re stressed, it calms you
down; if bored, it perks you up.
- biological component - physical urges
- there may be a genetic component
- want to get rid of coarse, kinky, white, etc. hairs.
- for symmetry, want things smooth and regular
- for the root
- pulling reduces tension, anger, frustration, boredom
- pulling brings relief and gratification (but also guilt, remorse)
- distracts from negative emotions
- starts as adaptive behavior, over time it branches out into many
situations
WHY WE DON’T STOP
- it’s hard to stop this behavior: it’s associated with many
situations, it’s deeply ingrained in our functioning
- awareness takes energy
- belief system: that you need to pull, that you can’t cope without
pulling, that pulling is the only way to manage feelings etc.
- enjoyable, feels good
- pulling has become part of your identity
- do positives of stopping outweigh the negatives? people struggle with that
- “What would your life be like if you stopped pulling?”
Answering that may pinpoint reasons you are having trouble stopping, what the “payoff” of pulling is for you. After 6 weeks working with a client who wasn’t making much progress, Dr. Mouton-Odum finallyasked her client that question. Without hesitation, her client replied, “I’m terrified that I would start eating uncontrollably.”Well, no WONDER she wasn’t getting anywhere with her pulling. They had to work on those fears first. Now she always asks that question at the first session with a client.
Later at the retreat, another attendee said the first time she was
pull free, she was afraid she now was supposed to be perfect. That remission did not last. Now she is pull free again but is more
relaxed about it. So it does seem that answering that question can lead to insights that can help one stop pulling.
HOW TO GET AND STAY IN RECOVERY
- first determine what “recovery” means for you
- make the commitment to get into treatment. This doesn’t have to mean treatment with a professional, but make the commitment to yourself to work on your recovery doing whatever methods you have chosen.
- telling people
- eliciting help from people (if helpful)
- allow yourself to function without pulling. Challenge your
beliefs that you can’t function without pulling.
- find other things you enjoy. add nurturing things to your life.
- set good boundaries with others.
- find other ways to decrease bad feelings: exercise, talking about feelings, prayer, etc.
- relaxation: yoga, meditation
- schedule pleasurable activities in your life (it was noted that
some pleasurable activities such as reading novels are also pulling triggers for some people, but the advice was not to pare back your life due to trich)
- Beef up the rest of your identity, your sense of yourself.
- In the big picture, what are your needs? Figure out how to get
these needs met.
One of the most profound things I got from this retreat was at this session, where she said to figure out what needs trich is meeting in your life, and figure out other ways to meet those needs.
Jammer dat ik de laatste ontmoetingsdag gemist heb, had er graag bij willen zijn. Zoals ik al in mijn eerste mailtje schreef was mijn eerste contact met een TTM praatgroep in Amerika, daar was er maandelijks een meeting. Via Sue die ook de webpage bijhield kreeg ik veel informatie over TTM, bij deze even een artikel.
Verder had ik nog een vraag: Heeft iemand van jullie weleens hypnose uitgeprobeerd en zoja hielp dat?
Why We Pull, Why We Don’t Stop, by Suzanne Mouton-Odum, Ph.D. (a talk at 2001 TLC Retreat)
WHY WE PULL
- pulling balances nervous system. If you’re stressed, it calms you
down; if bored, it perks you up.
- biological component - physical urges
- there may be a genetic component
- want to get rid of coarse, kinky, white, etc. hairs.
- for symmetry, want things smooth and regular
- for the root
- pulling reduces tension, anger, frustration, boredom
- pulling brings relief and gratification (but also guilt, remorse)
- distracts from negative emotions
- starts as adaptive behavior, over time it branches out into many
situations
WHY WE DON’T STOP
- it’s hard to stop this behavior: it’s associated with many
situations, it’s deeply ingrained in our functioning
- awareness takes energy
- belief system: that you need to pull, that you can’t cope without
pulling, that pulling is the only way to manage feelings etc.
- enjoyable, feels good
- pulling has become part of your identity
- do positives of stopping outweigh the negatives? people struggle with that
- “What would your life be like if you stopped pulling?”
Answering that may pinpoint reasons you are having trouble stopping, what the “payoff” of pulling is for you. After 6 weeks working with a client who wasn’t making much progress, Dr. Mouton-Odum finallyasked her client that question. Without hesitation, her client replied, “I’m terrified that I would start eating uncontrollably.”Well, no WONDER she wasn’t getting anywhere with her pulling. They had to work on those fears first. Now she always asks that question at the first session with a client.
Later at the retreat, another attendee said the first time she was
pull free, she was afraid she now was supposed to be perfect. That remission did not last. Now she is pull free again but is more
relaxed about it. So it does seem that answering that question can lead to insights that can help one stop pulling.
HOW TO GET AND STAY IN RECOVERY
- first determine what “recovery” means for you
- make the commitment to get into treatment. This doesn’t have to mean treatment with a professional, but make the commitment to yourself to work on your recovery doing whatever methods you have chosen.
- telling people
- eliciting help from people (if helpful)
- allow yourself to function without pulling. Challenge your
beliefs that you can’t function without pulling.
- find other things you enjoy. add nurturing things to your life.
- set good boundaries with others.
- find other ways to decrease bad feelings: exercise, talking about feelings, prayer, etc.
- relaxation: yoga, meditation
- schedule pleasurable activities in your life (it was noted that
some pleasurable activities such as reading novels are also pulling triggers for some people, but the advice was not to pare back your life due to trich)
- Beef up the rest of your identity, your sense of yourself.
- In the big picture, what are your needs? Figure out how to get
these needs met.
One of the most profound things I got from this retreat was at this session, where she said to figure out what needs trich is meeting in your life, and figure out other ways to meet those needs.